Saturday, December 15, 2007

Vulgar, Vulgar and Vulgar

I have a memory of being in primary school and we used to try and make our faces go red. There was this one boy who could do it really well, but out of the whole class the pair of us were pretty even. You kind of hold your breath and shake your head and the veins in the sides of your head nearly begin to show. I'm sure someone knows what I'm talking about.

So we watched this video in class a while back about liars and spotting liars (which I might add, I can do very well- I hardly ever point out to someone that I know they're lying, but trust me 8 out of 10 times I know) and things like that. The guy on the video whose job it was to run that lie detector test machine said that one day he figured out how to beat it. All he had to do was clench his bum and the thing would go crazy. This is because it's in your bottom that there's a resevoir where all your blood things meet, so if you clench them then your blood pressure goes crazy. At least that's what I gathered from watching the video.

So on Tuesday I wanted to try this technique out when I was having my blood pressure tested to see what would happen. But the short of the long is, I totally forgot.

So then when I was back on Friday I rememberd. So I mentioned my thoery about the blood pressure to my nurse who I think misunderstood me. She called it "laying down" or "pressing down" or something "down" and said that could stop your heart! Now what I was referring to was "clenching" but she was thinking of that thing that we used to do in primary school. So just to clarify I said

"Wait, I'm talking about lifting your bum. What are you talking about??"

She replied, "You know, like constipation type thing..."

Which MEANS (if this is true) that if you have constipation, you could stop your heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then I was thinking, what a terrible way to die!! Talk about unfinished business!!