Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Hospital, freakin' hospital!

Hospital, freakin' hospital!

Jeesh, I thought moving over to Vincents (aka the hole(!)) was going to be the beginning of a new chapter in my life; that as an adult I would have more flexiblity and freedom. How wrong was I?! Since December the 5th, I have spent a total of 12 days at home! TWELVE!! So, since none of you could share that long time with me in hospital, I shall share some of the more memorable 'moments' with you.
Moment number 1: Do I look stupid???!
I was lying in my bed, hooked up on oxygen, an iv and a feed. A well intentioned lady who visits patients came over to me. The conversation went like this...
Lady: Oh I can see you're all hooked up!
Me: Yeah...(weak smile)
Lady: Is that food going into you?
Me: Yeah, the yellow stuff is feed..
-The lady looks at the feed and then at me, leans forward, hands on knees-
Lady: (raises voice) Can you still eat?? ( mimes putting food into her mouth!)
I told her politely that I could in fact eat (as well as hear and speak!!!) I was a little offended but more amused. Before I could take the shovel off her however, she dug some more...
Lady: So are you on feeds then?
Me: Yeah, cas I have to keep my weight up, I don't have much of an appetite.
Lady: Well, you don't look anorexic to me..(?????!!!!)
At that stage, a nurse came in and literally SAVED me (or her) from further arkwardness! I don't know, some people...