Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Oh what a BIG BOTHER!! Yes, yet another series of that freak show marks the beginning of summer. Of course I won't be watching it, which means I probably will be. I used to love the routine of it, as when I was spending days and weeks surrounded by the monotony of hospital life, it was actually something to look forward to in the evenings.

St Vincent's Hospital where I was looked after pre-transplant doesn't actually have Channel 4 though, so I found it hard to keep up with what was going on, until I went over to England and I watched it most nights in my room. I'm finding it weird that I'll soon be celebrating my first 'birthday', I'm so relieved and as grateful as ever, but I'm still finding myself in moments of disbelief. I seem to be having a quick minute every other day or so this week where I feel like crying - Heck I was emotional when Jadine got fired on last week's Apprentice!! How odd is that??

I think the fact that my lung functions have gone up to 96%(!!!) I'm slowly losing the self doubt that by the next time they'll have fallen and I will be taken in for antibiotics. It's like it's a different world this side of transplant. I've spent years and years going in and doing my lung function tests, knowing they'd be the same or expecting them to be lower. Even yesterday, I thought that they'd be down.

Thankfully, I've been so well I only need reviewing and testing every two-three months so it seems to be the days leading up to these appointments where the confidence seems to fall slightly. Other then that, I am out and about, running for the bus, and just enjoying life. And it must be said, I love it.