Saturday, June 02, 2007

2 days to go. (...and possibly three until I'm home again after the six miles!...oh dear)

Well with such a short amount of time left to go, the time has come for me to really kick in the last of the preperation for the mini marathon. As I have said repeatedly, I can only do my best, and a mere year ago this would and could not have been possible. Anyway, that said, preperation is key, SO:

Legs smooth as silk: Check
Legs tan layer one: Check
Legs tan layer two: Check
Selection of shorts: Check (both board shorts and surf shorts. May need to get running ones...)
Cool wrist band: Check (I'm not sure what this actually does...)
Cool Athlete like water bottle: Check

Practice Running: I'll get to that...
Practice Walking: As above.

I still haven't decided about the sign yet (see yesterday's blog). I agree it's a funky idea, but I just don't want people to think I'm saying 'Oh hey look at me, I had a transplant, tell me I'm great' kind of thing. I do reckon it's a fantastic way of showing the positives of transplant though, so it's a matter of weighing up the pros and the cons.

Secretly however (is something posted on a PUBLIC blog secret??!), I think I am a bit anxious of having people coming up and telling me I'm 'brave' and hearing all that 'inspiration' talk. I am not brave, and I wasn't; I was called (pushed, forced) to the plate and I responded. To say I had acted with bravery would mean that there was thought and deliberation, that I said 'let me be brave about this for a moment' and I didn't. I didn't really have a choice; I just responded. I think anyone in that position (or any similar scary sounding medical circumstance) would do exactly the same; we just don't realise what our bodies are capable of until they are tested. I think to people who have never had transplant (or any serious illness or dilemma) touch their lives, often it can seem simply amazing, which provokes the 'brave and couragous' comments and perhaps they feel that they themselves could never go through such a thing, but they probably could. They just don't know it.

As for the 'inspiration' comments, again, not for me. MissT made a very good point a while ago, that although we don't feel ourselves to be inspirational, and we activly play down any such related notion, some people can be inspired from other's situations. I mean I am inspired quite a lot by different people and it does indeed spur me on at times, but I guess I've always considered myself to be 'normal', thus to hear 'oh you're such an inspitaion' is just cracked.

Trying desperatly not to sound like some grumpy old hag like a crazy cat lady or similar here! Just voicing my rambles in a jumbled way...

Anyway, I have a further two days to decide about my 'sign'. Hmmmmmm