The Other Side

That 'mental challenge' seems so long ago now, forgot I felt that way haha. I'm officially finished college. I got accepted on to my masters of choice. I will get my results of my exams and all in a couple of weeks, fingers crossed I passed everything! I don't know my official thesis result yet but I do know I did very well, thankfully!

Apart from that, no news really. I may swig a bottle of Gastrograffin later, for the laughs. And to get rid of the pain in my stomach I've had the last couple of days...

Challenges

When I did my lifeguard training, my body felt like it had been through hell and back for three days; that no matter how much I slept my body felt like it had not rested at all. That was the biggest physical challenge I have ever done. Some may argue that in fact I've been through a lot harder, but in reality, my body in my past medical endeavours - while extremely difficult at times- kind of just went along with the flow...ish.

In exactly 36 hours, I will hand up my thesis. This is by far the greatest mental challenge I have gone through. It's never ending; it's never right; it's difficult.

So if I EVER say again that I wish to put myself in the position where a thesis is required of me, please tell me no.

....I am referring to Monday, when I will be applying for a Masters. Someone save me from myself.

I promise to try harder....

I once read -somewhere- that the man who lies is more honorable than the man who just avoids telling the truth, because the man who lies has convictions. Or something? (I'm not sure if 'honourable' is probably the right word there...anyway I got what the guy was trying to say) I should really close this blog down if I'm not going to blog....or leave it open, but blog. As per usual, lack of blogging can be put down to being well and being busy.

In my defense, I did log on last week to update, but then, something happened, I don't know what, but I got distracted and ran off.

I have one week to go before I submit my final year thesis. How scary. Four years have flown by, and in many ways I feel so much older now when I look back. But most of the time, I feel as immature as ever. Last week I paid child's fare on the luas (passing myself for 15 years or younger) and actually got stopped by an inspector who said nothing, but then threatened to throw the sixteen year olds sitting behind me OFF for trying to fool him. I felt a pang of guilt about that one considering they were probably only a few months over the age limit, unlike my EIGHT YEARS ...oops.

My health has been good since January. Another blip with digestion, which I think I caught early, time will tell. I got two bad migraines last week (bringing my lifetime total to three) where my sight completely went screw ways, so I need to go to an optician and get that checked out. In fact Specsavers sent me some reminder something through the post that same day but ironically I couldn't read what it was they were telling me I should have done.

I lost my diabetes blood sugar monitor for a few months there, so got myself another one and have really worked hard at controlling my sugars. I'm proud to say that's going well. I had my thyroid function checked (at this point, I have no idea why they wanted that looked at, probably to find something wrong with me beginning with the letter 'T') and that was fine.

Last week I won an ipod shuffle. So I'm going to try jogging again soon. Because the shuffle won't be as annoying to lug around as the iTouch is. And that's the only reason why I am not a cross country champion by now, obviously!

So many a grand plan, many things going on, once I hand in this thesis I feel I will have accomplished SOMETHING anyway. I will try and update again next week.

I feel a lot better than I did a few days ago, and indeed, this time last week! I'm just tired. Very, very tired. Not in a need to sleep kind of tired, but worn out kind of tired. I think of things like going to get a cup of tea and in my head it takes me seconds to get to the kitchen and boil the kettle. But in reality, my legs and back seem to move so slowly and when I'm walking, it feels I can go no faster.

I feel like I'm getting so much better and then I see myself in the mirror and I look like an old lady! Although an old lady with a normal looking face it must be said; the one which looked pale and swollen has gone, thankfully!

I think the Tamiflu (which I stopped today) or the IVs have left this balm of nausea just below the surface too. So I'll be happy when I finish treatment some time this week. Or happier still when the PICC line is removed. Because then mentally I know, it will mean I am better. I had the whole site dressing changed yesterday and having been cocooned for a month in the exact same spot, it's now really tender to move it in any direction except the one it can stay in for the longest.

While the PICC line is great because it means no hunting for a vein, and things can just be done hassle free, in my head it also means that IVs are a quick option. "Hmm, maybe you need IVs...oh you have a PICC? Ok well here's two, take them three times a day for ten days" kind of thing. Not that that's how decisions are really made but still.

Apart from that, I'm taking this week off college; it's the first time I've decided to take time off like that in advance in my four years. I'm sure I'll regret it next week when I have a mountain to catch up on, but oh well!

Ps: I'm reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini at the moment and it's excellent. It's the second book I've read in about eight years - the one good thing about being sick is it leaves you lots of reading time!

NEVER blogging AGAIN

Seriously.

Talk about jinxing oneself!!!!!!

I've felt for a while now that I only ever seem to blog when something is going amiss with my health. Probably because when something is going amiss with my health, I'm generally stuck at home and have tired of refreshing Facebook over and over again.

Anyway my health WAS good until hours after I posted the last day.

Then I went to clinic. Everything on the check in assessment looked good. Had my PICC line flushed, blood taken. Wouldn't be needing that bronchoscopy. There was talk of removing my PICC line. I went to wait to see the doctor and......BAM. Suddenly it felt as though the world had jumped into a freezer. Nothing would warm me up. So my mom (who normally doesn't accompany me on such dates but did so on this occasion in case I was having a bronchoscopy) asked for a thermometer and sure enough within about half an hour, I had developed a temperature.

So I got some paracetemol but just felt worse. An hour later my temperature was still climbing and it was suspected I had contracted the dreaded swine flu. I would start Tamiflu; the PICC line would stay in; I would start more IVs (at home as there were no beds which was fine because the thought of having to say no to every hospital "meal" offered made me feel even more tired) and go home to bed.

At home, I got worse, threw up, temperature persisted, my face felt like it had been punched by a double decker bus, I could only really open one eye, I felt plain miserable.

Then yesterday evening, I began to feel better.

BUT me being the complicated me couldn't ever have things run quite so smoothly.

I had a phone call from my team (who I was keeping in contact with twice a day since ideally I would have been in hospital) to say that my PICC line actually showed a growth of e-coli. I don't really know what that is except it isn't too good. Except that as it happened, the IVs I am on are used to treat that kind of bacteria anyway.

So the PICC line has to come out. But then there's no way they'd get another one in. And if I'm feeling better it means the antibiotics are working. So maybe it's ok to keep it in for as long as I continue the upward trend, they think. I still feel really, kind of weak. And tired. But it's only been a couple of days to be fair.

So what about the swine flu? Well, apparently it would seem this 48 hour drama was actually a line sepsis, which all kicked off when the nurse flushed my line at my initial check-in assessment. I'm still waiting to see if I actually tested positive for the h1n1.

THE END.

...ok well maybe, to be continued would be better!

It's been over two months since I've blogged, apologies if you're the one person who still checks in here! I guess over the past year or so, my life has become rather monotonous...while not necessarily mundane; but follows a fairly normal routine, with normal goings on. Which if people wanted to read about, well then they could probably write in their own diaries and read back. That's not to say life isn't exciting - it is - but I'm so thankful and grateful that my life has reached a rather predictable plateau.

My health has been good. Not perfect, but good. I have a much greater control and understanding (and acceptance) of my digestive issues which I felt utterly plagued by in the Autumn.

The only unwelcome health wise issue that cropped up was that I developed pneumonia at the start of December. I became symptomatic fairly suddenly (with chest pains) so luckily got myself sorted rather speedily too. I spent two weeks on ivs, and while I was certainly almost near perfect afterwards, I wasn't *quite* perfect. So I got to spend the holiday season with a lovely PICC line Christmas decoration in my arm, which I have become pretty accustomed to now. Funnily enough, the reason for keeping the line in was because on Tuesday I have a follow up appointment (I think a two week check up?) and if things are funny again, they'll want to do a bronchoscopy which requires a touch of sedation, and they don't want the hassle of finding a vein!

Last week, I picked up some relative of that nasty virus that went around. It only lasted 24 hours, but now I'm coughing again. It's understandable since I don't have a great immune system for shooing these things away. And the Christmas season, whilst not the ideal time to be sick, actually reminds us of how lucky we are to *only* be dealing with a virus. Having a crappy immune system is the price I am very much willing to pay, considering the 50 other weeks of the year I am able to run about as I wish. One must not get greedy!

So apart from all that, I took up a temporary job in December, just for a few weeks which I hope to go back to in a couple of months. I'm also writing a thesis. Which I thought would kind of be like writing an essay; it would take a few all nighters and loads of diet Coke. I think that plan is becoming less and less feasible as the weeks pass by. I'm also in college full time. And also going out. And getting away. And having fun, too.

So yes, setbacks like to set in every now and again. But the trick is working out how to get and do what I want and working around the set backs. Or just throwing a load of antibiotics down to deal with the set backs and concentrating on living life :)

Answer to the Riddle

Interesting. I had a phonecall from a specialist team this morning and they asked me what was up. I said to these people:

"Well it's interesting, I have no appetite. But I'm frustrated because I'm hungry now from not eating. This *does* make sense, right??!"

"Ah. Sounds like you may be blocked. We'll get an xray done in the morning and just confirm that."

I would estimate that educated guess took about 7 seconds.

I didn't get a patronising laugh either.

I love professionals who are professional.

Riddle of the day

I'm at a loss as to which bit of this is so confusing:

"I have zero appetite at the moment. I'm really hungry because what with having no appetite, I haven't been eating."

I don't personally understand how someone with a reasonable ability to follow basic logic can find it so puzzling. Unless they like to snicker and laugh and be patronising for a living. Because "well if you're so hungry why don't you just eat, then, problem solved?" is the logical advice after struggling with aforementioned problem for three to four minutes which I received.

Hmmmm.

I'm very busy with reading and thesis and going out and general final year stuff, I am happy to report.

Thank you to everyone who emailed or facebooked me with advice, it's all been very helpful. Knowledge is power!

The latest results indicate I still have obstruction but am feeling better. Not perfect, but better.

Not this cycle again...

My lung function was higher than I thought it would be, whoohoo.

Every evening lately (well not lately, I would say a few weeks), I look pregnant (and get bad reflux too)and get very sore and swollen. In the morning it goes away again and I look as flat as a pancake, with a little flab here and there (haven't been to the gym in three months). The last week or so, during the day, I've had no energy. Not necessarily lethargic, just apathetic about everything. I don't feel like meeting up with friends or going for lunch or up for shopping.

So on Tuesday, I explained about the nighttime pregnancy and I was sent for an xray. I was beginning to get fed up waiting in an overcrowded, coughing waiitng room and thought this is a big fat waste of time. I had my xray done (PFA?).

I saw the results. Meaning, even *I* could see that the xray was bad. The last time this happened they showed me my xray and pointed here, there and everywhere saying "You see that there? Oh and there?" and I kind of nodded along, not realllly getting it. But this time, yikes.

But, being having to be a-typical about everything, despite this being a bad blockage, I'm not actually blocked, at all (if you follow). In fact, I wouldn't say I have any problems there at all (if you follow...). I would have put pain and big belly and lethargy and heartburn and intermittent nausea down to a wheat intolerance or something. So I'm back on treatments, hoping they'll work and I will want to be sociable and less awkward again soon. But I wonder if I'm eating too much or something?

If anyone has any advice, please share! I'm sorry for talking about stomachs and such. There are a million reasons why I do, but I am tired of typing now!...

I'm home from America, eight and a half weeks later. This year, it was camp, New York, Orlando/Miami, Bahamas, Rhode Island and home again. I am beautifully tanned despite everyone denying that this for me would be possible due to my fair hair and blue eyes, but yet again, here I am, bronzifed. Not that that's anything to boast about....

I have a month left until I go back to college. For my FINAL year!

Apart from that, it's all quiet. I'll have to see about going to get all my clinic appointments and blood sorted out. I feel like I have a half chest infection but it could be that my lung function is on its bottom cycle. Apparantly it goes in cycles, so I hit highs like 107% and then it goes back down to 98% ish and then works its way back up again.

That's all.

Updayyyuhtttt

Got my lab results back, and all was benign, phew.

Did my lung functions, they were 107%, and my weight is steady and *touch wood* my stomach problems seem to have gone and found something else to do for the last couple of MONTHS so I'm still managing to stay off my medications for that...phew.

I'm getting to the gym, on average, 4 times a week at the moment, phee-ewww.

Got my exam results, passed, phew.

I have gone deaf in one ear bizarrely. I knew I had problems hearing the other day, but it wasn't until I put my headphones in and thought they were broken (I've broken two sets recently), so switched them around just to check, when I realised, oh no, the headphones were perfect, it's my ear that's broken!!!

I went to the doctor who looked in my good ear and told me, great news, it's one hundred percent clean and clear. He then looked in my deaf ear, hummed a little bit, said "interesting" and told me it was 100% blocked, he couldn't see a thing. I have never had hearing/ear blockage problems, so it's great timing, because I'm supposed to be travelling long haul on Tuesday, off for the summer, and blocked ears can lead to painful infections which carry symptoms such as high temperatures. Oh and did I mention I have life guarding on Saturday 9-5 and Sunday 10-7? Now what was I saying about great timing?? Oh well, it could be worse; I got a stabbing pain in my stomach last week and panicked it was my appendix!!! Luckily it wasn't, it was just a random, temporary stomach blockage of some sort I think. There's always something. It just means I'm finding myself asking people to repeat themselves several times until it gets embarrassing so I just smile and nod. Only once or twice has that backfired and it turns out, it was an actual question I was being asked. Oops.

Apart from the aforementioned deafness, I'm in the middle of running around like a headless chicken, preparing for travels, so that on Monday (when I leave) I will NOT be running around like a headless chicken, phew. They say if you want something done, ask a busy person. I disagree, I seem to be crossing two things off my list and yet it gets longer by the hour!

Anyway, there's nobody in my house this week, because everyone is away, so it's actually VERY nice and quiet. I went shopping today for some basics for travelling and came home with four dresses, two tops and two pairs of shoes. I need to learn to leave my credit card at home.

The side-effects

This is more for transplant peoples, just thought I'd share.

I had this dark freckle on my foot. Not really too big, a teensy bit raised, but not what I would class as a mole or anything. I don't know how long I've had it, maybe a couple of years, I couldn't be sure. I was aware of it, especially since skin cancer is a *huge* deal post transplant (Usually, when the UV rays or whatever cause cells to multiply abnormally (cancer) the body naturally fights this itself and corrects it. It happens a lot and without a person ever knowing, but without a good immune system this process is damaged, that's my basic understanding of it!) Anyway, my mom caught sight of it one day and pressed me to have it checked out.

My GP wasn't overly concerned. My dermatologist said he'd remove it there and then for me, except when he described what he would do, I freaked and said I'd think about it (since he wasn't overly concerned either).

So skip a couple of months later, and I'm off to America for the summer. My mom is still pressing me to have it dealt with. So I ring my GP who cannot fit me in until July(!). My dermatologist is the same. I then ring the Beacon Hospital who said something similar but we explained about how I would be away for the summer. Their timetable is to have a consult done on a Wednesday and then any follow up work done on a Friday. So they tell us, fine, we can go see them this Wednesday considering how I will be going away. (When I say "I" phoned and "we" explained, I obviously mean my mom, because she's better at these things than I am.)

So on Wednesday morning, we strolled up to the hospital and the lovely lady doctor saw me and I showed her the offending article. She had read my notes that I had had a transplant so was at an increased risk. I was about to ask her to just look at another freckle I had on my shoulder when she interrupted (and immediately, I was like 'ugh' since I loath it when people interrupt) and told me that, in fact, she would like to do a whole body examination as it was best to see if there was anything else. I loved that attitude. Following the examination (where she found one other suspect which should be monitored) she asked me had I found anything else which I wanted her to look at (she had this magnifying thing that looked like what detectives use when they're inspecting diamonds) and I showed her the dark freckle but she said it was ok.

She then said she felt it was best to definitely remove the thing on my foot. So she went out and rang the plastics clinic and sent me right up. The doctor there went through what would be done and said that he could fit me into his procedure clinic that afternoon.

So that afternoon, I had it removed, which was painless after the local anesthetic. I just can't walk now, but I'm trying very hard to put weight on my foot and getting it to work again.

There are two issues with this story. Firstly, I am extremely fortunate that we are able to afford to pay for all this (seeing two doctors in a private hospital and a GP for a referral letter the day before is NOT cheap). If I had waited until my hospital decided to do something and then gone on a waiting list for a public plastics clinic, that could be months. There is something about that that is not right at all; money shouldn't mean better health care, but yet, it does. We caught this one well in time, but it's so important to not get caught in that position when it's too late.

Secondly, I am going back to see this dermatologist once a year for a check up. I would recommend that all transplant patients do this if your clinic does not offer it. Or just do a self check and make a mental note of dark freckles. Prevention is much easier than treatment.

Summer's a coming

My exams are over. I am beginning to believe that summer is almost here. My passport arrived, I have travel insurance, I have picked flight dates, I am getting excited. It still doesn't feel real yet, as there are one or two more hurdles to be leaped over and I'm a bit nervous that it is mid May already.

I am (hopefully!) becoming a certified lifeguard in a couple of weeks. Yeah, random.

I joined a gym a few weeks ago, and the day of my induction I went to hospital and spent a few days on IVs and fainted a couple of times. Joining the gym is a traumatic experience.

So I eventually went back the other day. It's a circuit system and I highly recommend it. There's no tricking around on treadmills and bikes, it's weights and stretching and jogging. So far, I have been twice, the day before yesterday and today (my aim is every other day). But I really do enjoy it. However, it would appear my heart rate is a bit higher than they would like. You stop every eight minutes and check it and they have a chart which shows where you should be. They assured me it was probably the medications I am on. I think in reality it's because I am not fit AT ALL. I actually got embarrassed about how high it was (it was pushing 200 at one point), but once you go red on the chart, you take a break. I was actually red on the chart after my stretching, which confirms I am very unfit or that the gym thing for me truly is traumatic! So all in all, I look forward to having my six pack by next Saturday. I'm realistic like that you see, which probably explains my previous success with gyms.

In other 'news', I am browsing post graduate courses at the moment, both Masters degrees and PhDs. Mostly because I don't want to have to go get a job when I finish college and without the rich husband, I can't live my life with maids and butlers, playing tennis in the mornings and golf at the weekends *just* yet.

I found a couple I really like the look of, the selection for one seems very competitive, the other more attainable. Our class in college is *extremely* competitive. To the point where some students when they hear certain useful information will hide it from others. I enjoy the competitiveness because it motivates me to do better, but yet I'm not bitter when I don't do amazing either. I also don't agree with the hiding of information, because that's just a bit daft, but thankfully that is just one or two people.

In final news, and I say this because I have just checked I have stocked up for when this backfires, but I have been able to go over three weeks without any stomach/intestinal medications. And I haven't modified my diet. It makes me wonder is this whole fiasco is stress related. But as I say, having just announced that, I have my supplies ready to go for when I am riddled over in pain on Monday having cursed my luck!

I have just reread that last paragraph and feel maybe I'm being a bit... eh personal! But it's just so anyone reading who might be going through similar things, to be aware that stress can clearly have a huge impact on the processes in your body! So therefore, keep an open mind when assessing the need for medication. Not that I am advocating NOT following medical advice or anything....

I should be studying, volume 423535

It's 11.47 PM and I should be studying for tomorrow's exam. But I started getting distracted and thinking. In our class we had this competition. It was an international competition, but everyone in our class had to enter it. Our group came joint first with another group, but the other group were picked as winners and got to travel to Atlanta, Georgia for five days to go to some conference. It was very cool, actually. Our group were disappointed obviously, but not really THAT much, like we weren't that bothered by it, but would have been delighted had we won nonetheless.

But the group that did win had a lot of problems. Firstly, they had become so strained that they weren't on speaking terms by the time they left to go to America. And they had to spend the trip in the same hotel room. One said that while she was happy she went, it was the week before exams, so she wasn't too keen on being away not being able to study. Which was a fair point.

And *then* the volcano went and erupted and caused chaos. Instead of returning to Dublin on the Sunday, they were stranded - in Boston - until they eventually managed to escape on the Friday (I think?).

So I was thinking, how dreadful would it be, the cost, the fact that the group were having problems, the lack of study. And then it occurred to me, if it was ME, I would have run out of drugs. I usually bring about three days' extra with me anyway, but it would not have been enough.

So then, because I'm "studying", I googled the cost of *one* of my drugs. On this website, where it offers great deals, it would charge €1580 for a month. Now despite the fact that with that deal, I get 12 Viagra tablets, I couldn't imagine the stress of trying to sort that out in America.

It's really true, things happen for a reason!!! ....now back to studying...

The Community Nurse part II

So there I was sitting in my kitchen, thinking about my phone sitting alone in the dining room, wishing I could think of some excuse to make the community nurse hurry up and leave. That seems a bit unfair, she was a perfectly pleasant lady but it always unsettles me slightly when medical people don't really....'get' it. By 'getting' it, I mean references which I would think would be fairly basic and standard concepts within the medical field. And when my trust in them begins to waver, then I internally begin to panic about whether they are fully able and qualified to do the job they came to do, in this case, change a dressing on a PICC line in my arm. Which runs near my heart. Which must be kept sterile at all times. So the conversation continued...

Nurse: "So the diabetes, that came after a surgery?"
Me: "Yes my tr-"
N: "-And what surgery was that?"
M: "A transpl-"
N: "Oh a transplant, I see it's written here! What type?"
M: "Lungs"
N: "Just the one lung, was it?"
M: "No lungs. Two."
N: "Ohhhh! And what was that for?"
M: "Well I have Cystic Fibrosis"
N: "Ohhhh! Cystic Fibrosis? And was that to cure it, yes?"
M: "Well, no. Like I don't have it in my lungs anymore, but the rest of my body still has it, so I'm not cured."
N: "Ohhhh I see! And how long have you had Cystic Fibrosis then?"
M: "Well, it's genetic. So I was born with it. "
N: "Ohhh! So a long time then, says you!"
M: "Yeah. I was diagnosed when I was six months old."
N: "Ohhh! Six months, so you've had it a LONG time then!"
M: "Well, yeah. I was born with it. "
N: "And when did you get the transplant?"
M: "Four years ago, almost."
N: "Ohhh! And how long were you waiting for it?"
M: "Emm about si-"
N: "For ages I bet!"
M: "Six months?"
N: "Oh that was quick!.... Oh you have a dog! Oh I never even noticed him. Oh isn't she gorgeous?"
M: "Yeah, that's my dog, he's very sweet"
N: "She's like a fox. Or a deer. Or a doe-a-deer! Oh will she bark now?"
M: "Oh no, he never barks, ever really."
N: "Oh I bet she'll bark"
M: "No, don't worry, he doesn't bark"
N: "Oh she'll make strange for me I bet!"
M: "No don't wor-"
N: "- right so I'm here to do a dressing then, so let's see, why do they want me to do that? Where is it now? Oh look at the eyes on her [the dog]..."


And so it continues. Turns out she doesn't have the right supplies, so I agree to go the pharmacy later and buy them. She has what will make do in the mean time. I become very worried that the pulling and prodding will make the line come out, so she agrees to hold it and I remove and dressings. Of course, this is all done through some more bizarre conversation, but seeing as I am studying for exams right now, I haven't the time to blog about it!

Thankfully the IVs are well in the past now, my lung function is back up and beyond where it was (I think about 104%) and I'm feeling much better! : ) I just have to concentrate on passing these silly exams (anyone know anything about statistics, neuropsychology or usability engineering, if you wouldn't mind disguising yourself as me and sitting my exams, it would mean hours more sleep and three less exams for me to do!).

My parents went to the CF conference this weekend, and so when I get a chance I'll blog up all I learned second hand from them.

Part II of the community nurse entertainment will continue shortly (it does get worse). At the point where I left off, I was planning my fake phone call and then realised I left my phone in on the dining room table. Fail.

In the meantime, we had to put down our lickle dog today. He was about 14/15 years old (a rescue dog so I'm not sure exactly). Although he was 'only' a dog, we miss him so, so much. It's amazing the overwhelming noise that silence makes.

The lovely community nurse part I

My lovely community nurse called today to change my dressings. She was actually very nice and friendly, bless her. This is part one of our converstation.

Nurse: "Hi. Ok, just need to run through a few things before we start to change your dressing."
Me: "Ok"
N:"So how long are you a diabetic and how are you finding your sugar [control]?" (reasonable question, because medical people need to know these sorts of things)
M:"Emmm...four years? Yeah, quite good"
N:"Oh four years is it? And how are they giving you insulin" (I began to wonder if she thought I was just diagnosed and I had something *in* me that gave me insulin that she was here to look at)
M:"Through injections, in my stomach like"
N:"Oh, oh, I see. Sub-cut, very good. How long are you doing that?"
M: "Well since...fo-"
N:"-forever, right, ok, yes, forever."
M: "Well...four years"
N:"Oh right. And how do you find that?"
M:"Grand"
N:"And are the sugars managed well?"
M:"Yes, quite well."
N:"And have you always been diabetic?"
M:"No. Just since four years ago"
N:"Oh right, just four years. So are you used to it now? I suppose you are, says you!"
M:"Yeah it's ok"
N:"And how did they find that out? Just by chance?"
N:"Well, I had surgery, and they routinely were checking them and they found out. I was on really high steroids at the time so that caused it"
N:"OHHHHH steroids will do that! And has it gone away now?"
M:"What the diabetes?"
N:"Yes, is it all OK now?"
M:"No. I'm a diabetic"

(begins to to plan fake phonecall!!!)

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. I ate a Crunchie egg. And then I ate another Crunchie egg that someone left up on a shelf in the kitchen. It's generally survivor of the greediest in my house so unless you hide things, they disappear when you leave the room to do anything. I once came into the kitchen looking for microwave popcorn but there was none in the cupboard. I asked my sister was it all gone and she shrugged. I then made a comment about how greedy people in this house were. Then twenty minutes later, I smelled microwave popcorn, so I dropped everything I was doing, dashed back to the kitchen and saw my sister standing beside the microwave. I asked her where she found that bag. She pointed to *another* cupboard, which we *never* use for anything. She moved it a few days earlier so she could save it for herself. So ever since then, I keep a close on the income of food into this house, I'm pretty sure my talents could earn me money as a card counter in Vegas someday! :)

And also, turns out I have a community nurse (never knew that!) who, turns out, is coming tomorrow to change dressings on my arm. I have no idea what time, I'll probably get up early and wait for her to arrive and then pretend I am important and I have somewhere *urgent* to be when/if she arrives. Just to entertain myself really. I might even pretend to take a phone call and be all "Ok, I'll be there as SOON as I can". And hope nobody actually phones me when I'm pretending to be on the phone...*awkward*. Actually I do have work, but it's not that important if I show up or not. And I actually was planning on going to my library to study too. Anyway, I just hope I don't make a twat of myself and faint on her!

Anyway, nothing else new going on. The past week or so I've been on holidays, I have laid out all my books on the dining room table so it looks like I'm studying. Actually, I have discovered Survivor: Heroes vs Villains is on so I've watched every episode to date. And then I spent about two hours watching clips from "The Room" on youtube. Seriously, if you have nothing else to do, watch a trailer for this film. HIGH-larious. "Zis is naaacht ok!"

Plans for easter

I got a new phone. My old phone which had a bad habit of breaking, broke, and so I was entitled to a new phone. It's the Nokia E63 which is like a blackberry but available on pre-pay plans. I feel very pretentious carrying it around; I only wanted a working phone but in my defence all the basic basic models were sold out. Anyway, this thing has wireless Internet on it so it's very useful.

On Tuesday I went to clinic and unfortunately my lung functions had fallen over 8%. I suspected that was the case as I picked up some funny thing in college a couple of weeks ago and had been wheezy since. Having nightmareish veins which may as well be painted on to my arms, they had to put in a PICC line (a bigger line which goes into a large vein and runs toward my heart) for IVs. Administration wise, an appointment is faster dealt with if you're an inpatient, so I went in for "one night" to have the line put in. Except it took them a while to get the vein to put the line in and once they did? I fainted. Passed out. Embarrassing to say the least. Especially when I heard someone shout 'She's fainting!!!' UGH. So that earned me another night. And then yesterday? Same thing happened again. That earned me a heart scan. And another night. To be perfectly honest, I think it's just the pressure of the line or something technical, so nothing seriously wrong. Thankfully my bed was needed today so I got to escape.

My plan for the rest of my holidays include eating, sleeping, drugging, sleeping and studying. Needing IVs is a bum, but it couldn't have come at a better time! The two weeks coincide with my Easter holidays perfectly. Plus I'm just grateful I didn't book last minute to go away anywhere! Phew! The IVs tend to make me really tired so I have plenty of rest and reading time to manage with. Plus it gives me plenty more *geeek* study time too as I have to be up at 7am and stay up until 12am. Yes, *geeek*. It could always be a whole lot worse! And I feel fine apart from the drama.

PS: thanks Sheryl for your msg :)