Yes, I really do know that groovy dancing girl and I really did take her job when she left. And yes, it's true I can dance like that too. I just haven't done it yet.

Today I fell up the stairs. When I was a young pippen in secondary school this happened a friend who was a girl in my year. What made it worse was two things:

She had a long, metal ruler with her (the one that *claaaaaangs* when dropped - did anyone else ever have the token person in their year with one of those?).

It was at the top of the stairs, where two double doors open on to the mezzanine level.

So *claaaaang* went the ruler, as her feet went from under her, much like a young calf on ice at the same moment someone swung the double doors open, crashing into and then wounding either her head, or her arm. She just wriggled like a little caterpillar. Probably expecting someone to rush to her aid or something.

By that stage the tears were falling so fast down my face, I was about to lose control of my bodily functions, I was running out of breath because it was that funny. And I was that immature.

Needless to say, said girl ignored me and my friend for all of an afternoon for our despicable disloyalty and uncaring reaction. But it was funny. Hilarious in fact.

And today I share her pain. Well I did in my toe, at least for a few minutes. I suppose I'm fortunate there was no audience watching, and I went up the stairs not down. That would have been dangerous.

A bit like...oh I don't know...running up a 'down' escalator in a public shopping centre, making a successful jump off at the top, then losing my one's shoe as it travelled back down to a gathering queue, and then dropping my one's watch (which had a broken battery anyway) down, following the shoe.

Yes, *phew*, thank GOODNESS that's never happened to me! Only silly fools do things like that...