Happy Mammy's day Maw! I would post a sentimental photo of days past of me and my mommy, but I don't think she would appreciate reminders of her 'Farrah Faucet' days, and the memories of times when vary focals weren't her constant companion may depress her!

Me and "the girl" got home at lunchtime, and I had to sleep since I did very little of that over the weekend. England was....how they say...English. Plenty of "Eeeeeee's" and "Ooo aye!" were heard.

A certain Geordie organised a certain gig which had a comedian at it. The comedian, was obviously unaware of the Irish lassies in the back, cracked some very racist Irish jokes about "Paddy" and "Mick". We were appalled and decided to leave.

Nah I'm joking, he was very funny and we stayed. I had a couple of white wine spritzers which confirms my ''allergy'' to alcohol is clearly selective! We boogied to "walk five hundred miles" and overall had a highly enjoyable evening!

At the airport we had to shuffle our bags about because English airports only allow one bag. How silly. Next time I'm going to wear a pocketful jump suit so to eliminate the bag issue. I may even strap bottles of water to my legs and arms. They won't set off alarms OR show up anywhere. Then I will sell my story to Sky News and the Mirror for a tidy sum. Then, and only then, will I be happy.