Christmas Eve!

I will be lighting three candles this Christmas eve. One for my friend who passed away a few months ago. One for a very very special person, without whom I wouldn't be here today and the usual one for Jesus.

This time (exactly) last year, I was sitting on the edge of a bed, waiting for the doctor on call to come around and say I could go home. I had my bags packed, box of chocolates for the nurses, and my days' supply of IVs laid out on the bed. I knew that my CRP (infection markers in blood) were still going to way too high, well over a hundred, when normal is 12, but I was determined to be home for Christmas. The doctor who came to see me, was less then enthusiastic about letting me home, but after 4weeks straight in hospital, he agreed I could have a 2day break at home, so long as I kept up the IV drugs, nebulisers and array of tablets. I was tired. I was sick. I was breathless, but my face was gleaming. In that sort of way, when a runner finishes a marathon; their face is worn out, but they are delighted.

This year couldn't be anymore different. Although I woke up, coughing up some not so nice stuff, I knew I'd be OK. I can breathe and I'm not sick. I'm going to stuff myself with Christmas dinner, and drink all the alcohol I can (Maintaining responsible behaviour though). I will wake up refreshed, not feeling like I could sleep another 3 days. I will laugh without collapsing into a fit of coughing. I will sit (not lie and fall asleep) on the couch. I will look hot, but not physically burn up with a temperature. I won't have to time my shower so I can fit in 'rest time' afterwards (where I sit on my bed breathing in my oxygen). I will have a very merry Christmas. I hope you do the same. xxxxxxxxxx