I feel a lot better than I did a few days ago, and indeed, this time last week! I'm just tired. Very, very tired. Not in a need to sleep kind of tired, but worn out kind of tired. I think of things like going to get a cup of tea and in my head it takes me seconds to get to the kitchen and boil the kettle. But in reality, my legs and back seem to move so slowly and when I'm walking, it feels I can go no faster.

I feel like I'm getting so much better and then I see myself in the mirror and I look like an old lady! Although an old lady with a normal looking face it must be said; the one which looked pale and swollen has gone, thankfully!

I think the Tamiflu (which I stopped today) or the IVs have left this balm of nausea just below the surface too. So I'll be happy when I finish treatment some time this week. Or happier still when the PICC line is removed. Because then mentally I know, it will mean I am better. I had the whole site dressing changed yesterday and having been cocooned for a month in the exact same spot, it's now really tender to move it in any direction except the one it can stay in for the longest.

While the PICC line is great because it means no hunting for a vein, and things can just be done hassle free, in my head it also means that IVs are a quick option. "Hmm, maybe you need IVs...oh you have a PICC? Ok well here's two, take them three times a day for ten days" kind of thing. Not that that's how decisions are really made but still.

Apart from that, I'm taking this week off college; it's the first time I've decided to take time off like that in advance in my four years. I'm sure I'll regret it next week when I have a mountain to catch up on, but oh well!

Ps: I'm reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini at the moment and it's excellent. It's the second book I've read in about eight years - the one good thing about being sick is it leaves you lots of reading time!

NEVER blogging AGAIN

Seriously.

Talk about jinxing oneself!!!!!!

I've felt for a while now that I only ever seem to blog when something is going amiss with my health. Probably because when something is going amiss with my health, I'm generally stuck at home and have tired of refreshing Facebook over and over again.

Anyway my health WAS good until hours after I posted the last day.

Then I went to clinic. Everything on the check in assessment looked good. Had my PICC line flushed, blood taken. Wouldn't be needing that bronchoscopy. There was talk of removing my PICC line. I went to wait to see the doctor and......BAM. Suddenly it felt as though the world had jumped into a freezer. Nothing would warm me up. So my mom (who normally doesn't accompany me on such dates but did so on this occasion in case I was having a bronchoscopy) asked for a thermometer and sure enough within about half an hour, I had developed a temperature.

So I got some paracetemol but just felt worse. An hour later my temperature was still climbing and it was suspected I had contracted the dreaded swine flu. I would start Tamiflu; the PICC line would stay in; I would start more IVs (at home as there were no beds which was fine because the thought of having to say no to every hospital "meal" offered made me feel even more tired) and go home to bed.

At home, I got worse, threw up, temperature persisted, my face felt like it had been punched by a double decker bus, I could only really open one eye, I felt plain miserable.

Then yesterday evening, I began to feel better.

BUT me being the complicated me couldn't ever have things run quite so smoothly.

I had a phone call from my team (who I was keeping in contact with twice a day since ideally I would have been in hospital) to say that my PICC line actually showed a growth of e-coli. I don't really know what that is except it isn't too good. Except that as it happened, the IVs I am on are used to treat that kind of bacteria anyway.

So the PICC line has to come out. But then there's no way they'd get another one in. And if I'm feeling better it means the antibiotics are working. So maybe it's ok to keep it in for as long as I continue the upward trend, they think. I still feel really, kind of weak. And tired. But it's only been a couple of days to be fair.

So what about the swine flu? Well, apparently it would seem this 48 hour drama was actually a line sepsis, which all kicked off when the nurse flushed my line at my initial check-in assessment. I'm still waiting to see if I actually tested positive for the h1n1.

THE END.

...ok well maybe, to be continued would be better!

It's been over two months since I've blogged, apologies if you're the one person who still checks in here! I guess over the past year or so, my life has become rather monotonous...while not necessarily mundane; but follows a fairly normal routine, with normal goings on. Which if people wanted to read about, well then they could probably write in their own diaries and read back. That's not to say life isn't exciting - it is - but I'm so thankful and grateful that my life has reached a rather predictable plateau.

My health has been good. Not perfect, but good. I have a much greater control and understanding (and acceptance) of my digestive issues which I felt utterly plagued by in the Autumn.

The only unwelcome health wise issue that cropped up was that I developed pneumonia at the start of December. I became symptomatic fairly suddenly (with chest pains) so luckily got myself sorted rather speedily too. I spent two weeks on ivs, and while I was certainly almost near perfect afterwards, I wasn't *quite* perfect. So I got to spend the holiday season with a lovely PICC line Christmas decoration in my arm, which I have become pretty accustomed to now. Funnily enough, the reason for keeping the line in was because on Tuesday I have a follow up appointment (I think a two week check up?) and if things are funny again, they'll want to do a bronchoscopy which requires a touch of sedation, and they don't want the hassle of finding a vein!

Last week, I picked up some relative of that nasty virus that went around. It only lasted 24 hours, but now I'm coughing again. It's understandable since I don't have a great immune system for shooing these things away. And the Christmas season, whilst not the ideal time to be sick, actually reminds us of how lucky we are to *only* be dealing with a virus. Having a crappy immune system is the price I am very much willing to pay, considering the 50 other weeks of the year I am able to run about as I wish. One must not get greedy!

So apart from all that, I took up a temporary job in December, just for a few weeks which I hope to go back to in a couple of months. I'm also writing a thesis. Which I thought would kind of be like writing an essay; it would take a few all nighters and loads of diet Coke. I think that plan is becoming less and less feasible as the weeks pass by. I'm also in college full time. And also going out. And getting away. And having fun, too.

So yes, setbacks like to set in every now and again. But the trick is working out how to get and do what I want and working around the set backs. Or just throwing a load of antibiotics down to deal with the set backs and concentrating on living life :)